Regretful Politeness

A postdoc, a feminist. They were in an open relationship. They told me that they are looking for a threesome. I pretended to not notice that they were considering me as their ‘candidate’. One day, the postdoc’s then-boyfriend texted me, asking whether ‘they can take me home’. I declined. Politely. (I blame myself for that politeness. The politeness that served nothing but their nerves, which costed me my everything. My pride, dignity, esteem.) Weeks after I declined, one day, we met with many other colleagues. And the postdoc’s then-boyfriend called me out loudly as ‘the sandwich girl’ in front of all my friends and colleagues. The postdoc did not intervene, did not correct, did nothing. I just stood there. I didn’t say anything. But it still hurts me, until today.

disappointed by a feminist