There was no misunderstanding

I was working as a junior researcher at a department where I felt I did not belong. I was one of the few non-Dutch speaker, person of color, woman of color. One day I forgot to bring my own keys to my office. I went to the admin to ask for a spare key so […]

Regretful Politeness

A postdoc, a feminist. They were in an open relationship. They told me that they are looking for a threesome. I pretended to not notice that they were considering me as their ‘candidate’. One day, the postdoc’s then-boyfriend texted me, asking whether ‘they can take me home’. I declined. Politely. (I blame myself for that […]

Memories That Hurt

I was a PhD student and he is a postdoc. We were friends. At least, that is what I believed us to be. Until one day he expressed his romantic interest in me. I rejected his approach, saying that I am not interested. That day, I went home and received a text from the postdoc. […]

Hostile Committee

A few years ago I applied for a professorship. I got invited for a job talk, but a few days before I got a message from a colleague from another country that he urgently needed to talk to me. It turned out that he had heard from a reliable source (but couldn’t give me details) […]